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Post by jaylad on Jan 12, 2019 10:11:43 GMT
I guess like most of us on this forum my interest in leg braces, wheelchairs and disability in general goes back to my early childhood. I have often tried to analyse why I have a desire to be disabled and why I find other disabled people attractive. Apart from accepting that perhaps my brain is wired a little differently to other people's I think there are a few other factors.
I guess as a child you are naturally curious about anything that is a bit different. So for me seeing someone who was disabled was worth looking at out of curiosity. The fact that I would then get told off for staring at the disabled person just made them all the more interesting and it was a challenge to look without getting caught! So that probably sowed the seeds of my fascination. It is also the case that I did not have a very happy childhood and my parents made little secret of the fact that I was a great disappointment to them. So reading stories in the newspaper or magazines and seeing programmes on TV about 'Brave cripples' (the person I work for would probably kill me for using such language!) who managed to do all sorts of brave and courageous things in spite of their disability such as getting out of bed in a morning, going to school, going to shops and in extreme cases getting a job or going to university (who ever knew such people had brains?) made me think that if I was disabled then I would be thought of as brave and courageous for doing......well normal stuff. My young mind thought that I would become special and even if I failed at a task I would have the excuse that the poor crippled kid couldn't help it. I now, of course, realise that given societies attitudes and prejudice about disability there were just so many flaws in that argument. But it became my dream to be disabled.
That dream still lives with me and my inner consciousness sees me as the 'Brave Crippled Kid' who manages to do all this normal stuff whilst using leg braces or a wheelchair.
Thanks to forums like this and discovering information about BIID I am a lot more comfortable about being who I want to be (though sadly at the moment not as much as I would like) and would probably best describe myself as being trans-abled. My ambition (not just a dream anymore) is to live fully as a paraplegic but that may take a while to achieve.
I hope anyone reading this will appreciate that some of my comments are just a little tongue in cheek and accept them in the spirit (any single malt is fine by me) they are intended although there is obviously a serious side to this. Also I am aware that sarcasm is indeed the lowest form of wit!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2019 9:48:59 GMT
I've given up trying to analyse my leg brace fascination - I never reach any sensible conclusion. When my wife and I have discussed it she usually ends up using almost identical words to you: "Your brain's wired differently to most people"!
Whilst I can't claim an unhappy childhood, looking back on it I know was extremely shy and suffered from what today would be called 'low self-esteem'. I also felt under pressure to achieve (I still can't work out whether there was subtle parental pressure or whether it came from within me) and I never really got the work/life balance right until later in life. For me, leg brace fascination was escapism from the 'pressure' I felt and there is no doubt that the feelings became stronger later in life when I was under stress. Now I'm retired I can't put it down to stress but, now I have a caliper of my own, I can't get enough of wearing it. One of the simple pleasures of retirement!
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Post by castmenow on Jan 19, 2019 21:20:44 GMT
I have posted elsewhere that during my early life I was exposed to several close encounters with bracing. The girl who lived next door to me when I was perhaps 4 to 6 years old had serious hip problems and spent svveral years in a series of double hip spica casts and then bilateral KAFOs with a spreader bar. A boy at school had Perthes disease and wore a KAFO with a shoe raise on the other leg. A girl over the road had leg / foot problems and had a lot of time in a leg cast. My maternal grandmother had a stroke and wore a metal and leather KAFO. I believe that the girl next door had the most impact on me, my mother was always making a lot of fuss and attention and comments about her, and she was sometimes bought around to our house for my mom to child mind. I suppose that I grew to associate parental attention with being in some form of cast / brace and over my younger years, this just got programmed into me. Does this mean that everyone exposed to this sort of thing during early childhood would be similarly affected, I am not so sure. I have read some stuff that says some people may be more predisposed to developing fetishes like this through early childhood exposure, either due to their specific brain physiology or perhaps their environment / nuturing.
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Post by tobebraced50 on Apr 15, 2019 2:56:32 GMT
Very interesting the way you have stated your thoughts. I also never thought of myself as having an unhappy childhood but as was stated that self esteem was less, lots less than stellar. I was the kid who frequently was falling while playing on the playground in my first elementary years, I was not trying to be funny but my classmates always were laughing at my predicament. I found it easier to just stand by and watch rather than entertain.
But in second grade, there was an older girl with a single long leg brace which kept her leg straight. She was able to run in a different manner and never fall. When not playing in the games, she was always surrounded by peers as I stood alone. Place onto that was the constant remark by my parents of "LUCKY" when there was an encounter with another child using braces and usually crutches. I thought for sure I was disappointing my parents by not having braces of my own to wear just like those "lucky" kids.
My parents had managed to keep something a secret. Just about 4 years ago after a doctor asked me about my childhood polio attack did the curtain begin to fall on the secret. The finding out that my mother said my legs had been paralyzed for a time did a bright light begin to shine on the open stage. Polio and I had met but the meeting had been in secret and then I understood who my parents thought was lucky. It was me and also them in they were were able to hide the reality of the truth that I could have, probably should have been presenting myself in the public eye as a crippled little boy with crutches and braces instead of being carried or crawling from place to place on hands and knees.
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Post by rowland on Feb 20, 2020 21:37:24 GMT
This afternoon quietly listening to music a memory surfaced of a man on an inland campsite in Spain. I went for a shower early because we were moving on after staying one night. He was probably there early to avoid being seen, or rather to avoid his leg being seen. He had taken off his footwear and one boot was built up by several inches and shaped to take his deformed foot. His leg was short and thin. He went into the shower and was still in when I had finished. I can't remember ever having thought of him since then. This is the first of many memories I have become aware of during this time of lockdown and with the thread "Wondering why?" in mind. Actually written 13th may 2020
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Post by rowland on Feb 20, 2020 21:41:42 GMT
Another memory that has been in my mind is of a summer's day when I was in my twenties. I went to a country pub that had a pleasant garden. It was busy. There were more disabled men around than I had ever come across in one place. Some were in wheelchairs. Most wore kafos. One, probably in an HKAFO, was standing at the bar drinking and talking. He was probably enjoying standing up and doing what you do in a pub. I was so overwhelmed by the impact that I drank my pint and left. The pub was within walking distance of a hospital specializing in spinal injuries. This and many other incidents have reinforced the events of my childhood which primed me for an interest in leg-braces. I hope other forum members will be helped to put together their own answers to the question "Wondering why?" (Actually written 13th May 2020)
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rmar
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Post by rmar on Feb 22, 2020 15:19:29 GMT
I have seen many doctors over the years trying to explain my attraction to leg braces without success. None of them have been able to really explain it and one even said that if I could find the reason it wouldn't stop the attraction. I am in my 70's now and I think I have finally given up trying to explain it or understand it. Since about the only braces I ever see anymore are my own I just satisfy my attraction by wearing them.
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Post by rowland on Feb 25, 2020 16:26:44 GMT
Oops, I've quoted jaylad twice! In future I'll just say what I have to say,- which is:
My pre-school playmate was the boy who lived across the road. He wore leg-irons, below-the-knee metal and leather calipers, attached to his boots. My mother took pity on him and paid him attention, enough to make me jealous. I wanted his leg-irons. As he grew, his legs became stronger and no longer needed the AFOs to support them. Then he moved to another part of the village. We went to the same village school but he was no longer of interest to me. We had different friends. My desire lay dormant. Years later, in my pre-teen years, my dad brought a friend home to mend our radio, which was a piece of furniture, a cabinet with a big loudspeaker in it and old glass valves. The tuning dial had names like Luxembourg, Daventry, Motala, Kalundborg. The friend was called Denis. He was a tall, strong, bony man and on one leg he wore a full-length caliper. To reach the innards of the radio-cabinet, he sat down on the floor, putting the locked KAFO out sideways. His leg, with the metal and leather an essential part of it, became the self-image that I wanted as I grew into manhood. I did not wish to be disabled but as it turned out, after years of keeping my yearning secret, I have gradually become disabled following treatment for cancer. My first leg-brace was a plastic AFO; my present brace is a metal and leather KAFO.
The search goes on for the perfect leg-brace. I see this forum as an aid to achieving it or at least getting closer to it. Best wishes to all leg-bracers and courage to those beginning the journey. Rowland
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Post by jaylad on Mar 2, 2020 15:04:01 GMT
Hi Rowland,
No problem with quoting me. It's good to know people are still looking at my earlier posts!
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Post by busboy on Mar 20, 2020 10:59:54 GMT
Like many people on this forum, I guess my interest in braces stems from childhood. As a child of the 50s/60s people wearing braces was a fairly common sight. have ever wondered weather my fascination is normal or not. As far as I am concerned, I am fascinated and thats it. However, I do keep this to myself in case others don't agree. Thinking about it, what is 'normal' anyway?
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Post by rowland on Mar 20, 2020 21:58:47 GMT
Hi busboy, "What is normal anyway?" A couple of thoughts: Physios use a list called Activities of Daily Living (ADLs). So if you can do all or most of the things that people do in their ordinary lives while wearing your brace(s) you are more or less normal. My own experience is that people are rarely bothered by my wearing a leg-brace. Once a soft-hearted French lady who was passing in the street stopped and asked about my leg. I was wearing shorts as I often do in summer. Very rarely I have been aware of people, always male, I think, who can't take their eyes off the visible parts of my caliper below the ankle. They never say anything. So don't take yourself too seriously, just enjoy wearing a leg-brace whenever you can. Rowland
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Post by busboy on Mar 22, 2020 10:14:37 GMT
Hi Rowland. Thank you for your response to my question 'what is normal'. I am not taking myself seriously. I bought my caliper to wear and not to collect dust propped up against the bedroom wall. In fact I enjoy wearing it and have is on whilst I am typing this. So far I have not ventured outside wearing it, the two long flights of stairs from my second floor flat to the front door are discouraging me. At present a lot of the neighbours are at home due to the coronavirus so its too risky to try the stairs for fear of being seen. Perhaps when things return to normal...
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Post by rowland on Mar 25, 2020 18:15:21 GMT
Hi Busboy, My own NHS orthotist works by trial and error. I suppose most of them must. At the moment I am wearing a KAFO which has had an ischial ring added to it. I got it back on Monday. I have an appointment a fortnight today. He will probably use my brief use of it to design a new one. The main problem is it presses painfully on the top of my thigh bone. By now I trust him. So you are not alone in having a brace that needed adjustments. By the way I am also slightly knock-kneed (valgus knee).
Thanks for your posts and keep them coming, Rowland
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Post by rowland on Mar 29, 2020 16:04:29 GMT
Hi Busboy, If you have time and patience you could prepare neighbours and friends by adopting some easy practices. Walking with your hand on your thigh is a classic sign of a weak thigh. When I am not wearing my caliper it stops me tripping up. All those stairs provide an opportunity to use your "good leg" only. It would build your quads on that leg, so that eventually there would be a visible difference between the legs. I wear a KAFO for medical reasons but had wanted to wear one since childhood. In the meantime I made my own leg-braces from time to time and wore them in public when I could arrange to do so, usually at night. I didn't know about VB then. I hope you end up getting as much joy out of bracing as I do. Rowland
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rmar
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Post by rmar on Mar 31, 2020 18:29:49 GMT
Just to add my 2 cents - Roland my HKAFOs have an ischial ring on both braces and I have no problems with rubbing or any kind of pain and that is after wearing for 8 hours. Tell your guy it needs adjustment.
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